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Tips - May 10, 2022

How to Know Who You Really Are

When you know who you are and your capabilities, only then can you step into your chosen endeavour and achieve success. 

You must define your goals, value, morals, needs, worth, what you will not tolerate and that thing for which you’re willing to die. If you are on a self-rediscovery, here is how to know who you are.

Do what suits you

Every day, you indirectly decide how to spend your time, what to pay attention to, and where to concentrate your energy. What helps you with all the decisions are your values which are continually mirrored in how you choose to behave.

Since values are an extension of ourselves, your values must be backed by actions. Actions are not deceiving as they define you. When your behaviours contradict your thoughts and actions, you behave against your ideals.   

This way, you lose yourself in who you want to be rather than face who you are. When you lose touch with your values, your beliefs and ideas get disassociated from your behaviours and feelings. 

Highlight the values that define you

Values are the building blocks of our identity. What we choose to find essential in our life and prioritise defines us. If you value money above everything else, it will come to define who you are. Also, if you feel low about yourself and believe you are unworthy, it will show in your behaviours, words, and decisions.

The aggregate of what you value makes up your identity, otherwise known as “self.” So, when you go away to be alone somewhere, you’re running away to re-evaluate your principles.

The following yardstick can help you discover if your values are misguided based on these three factors: evidence-based vs emotion-based, constructive vs destructive, and Controllable vs Uncontrollable.

Evidence-Based vs Emotion-Based Values

Sometimes, you are motivated to act by your sentiments rather than facts or information when making judgments.

This way, you are stuck on a never-ending need of emotional roller coaster. The way out is to determine that something is more important than your feelings. That is, find a purpose.

This will help you improve your health and well-being. However, don’t determine this based on how you feel. It has to be thought about and reasoned. It needs to be based on information; else, you will be chasing a mirage.


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Constructive vs Destructive Values

Nobody wants things that will harm them. However, determining what is genuinely stimulating growth and what is damaging can be somehow complicated. There is a thin line between what is considered good and evil.

Understanding why you value something is more crucial than knowing what you value. For instance, respect for martial arts because you like harming others is a destructive value. 

However, it is an excellent thing if it is because you are in the military and want to learn how to protect yourself and others—different values for the same thing. The purpose is what determines which one is valuable.

Controllable vs Uncontrollable Values

When you place value on things that are beyond your control, you are giving them priority over you.

For instance, you influence how much money you make. But if you do everything for the sake of money and then something happens, you will lose your sense of purpose in life.

Money is, therefore, a terrible value since it is difficult to regulate. However, creativity and a strong work ethic are essential characteristics because you can manage them, leading to more wealth.

Define your values and find yourself

When it comes to identifying yourself, you should ask yourself the following questions: what does a successful and meaningful life entail? What am I looking for in this life?

Answering the question will help you understand the principles that underpin the life you’ve pictured for yourself and why you desire what you want.

You need to know if the values you described are good or bad, based on facts or feelings, constructive or destructive, controllable or irreversible, among others. If your answers are positive, you are good to go. If otherwise, rethink your priorities and find new ones.

Also, you will have discovered your genuine values if you were honest in answering the questions.


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