How to Feel a Little Better When Everything Feels Bad

There are days when nothing feels right. You’re overwhelmed, confused, maybe even scared and no one seems to have the perfect answer to fix it. Sometimes, you don’t even know what exactly is wrong. 

You just know something is. If you’ve ever been there, you’re not alone. It’s a very human experience.

Let’s say you’re facing a big decision, like staying in a relationship or walking away. You ask yourself: “Am I with the right person?” You talk to your friends, and they ask things like, “Do you love them?” You think about it over and over. Maybe you say yes, but something still feels off. That weird, tight feeling in your chest? That’s not just anxiety, it’s something deeper.

It’s called anguish, and it usually shows up when you have to make a choice that could change everything. It’s not sadness, and it’s not fear. It’s the uncomfortable space between two things you really care about. Like choosing between love and freedom. You want both, but you can’t have them equally.

That’s what makes it hurt so much. Now, here’s where philosophy specifically, existential philosophy can help. Thinkers like Kierkegaard and Sartre spent a lot of time trying to understand this kind of emotional storm. One of the most powerful things they said is this: anguish exists because we are free.

And weirdly enough, that kind of freedom, the kind that lets you choose your own path, can feel like a burden.

We say we want freedom, but when life demands that we choose, really choose most of us would rather someone else decide for us. Why? Because we want certainty. We want to know that we’re making the right move, that it will all work out in the end. 

We dream of some magic formula that tells us what to do, something to remove all the guesswork and second-guessing.

But here’s the truth, there’s no perfect answer, no secret formula. No one knows exactly what will happen if you go left instead of right. And that uncertainty? It’s the heart of anguish.

So, how do you feel a little better when you’re in the middle of all this?

First, accept that anguish is part of being human. It’s not a sign that something’s wrong with you. It’s a sign that you’re facing something real, something that matters. The more you try to run away from it, the more it grows. But if you sit with it, acknowledge it, and even welcome it — it starts to lose its power.

Second, understand that only you can choose your next step. Not your friends. Not your parents. Not even some wise quote on the internet. People can offer advice — and that can help — but the answers were already inside you. You just needed help hearing them.

Lastly, let go of the need for total certainty. You might never know if your choice is the “best” one. But if it’s grounded in what matters most to you, your real values, then it’s a choice you can live with.

And that’s how you begin to feel a little better when everything feels bad.

Not by avoiding the hard questions, but by meeting them head-on.
Not by being sure of everything, but by being honest about what you believe.

In the end, anguish isn’t your enemy. It’s a sign that you’re alive — and paying attention.