5 Tactics to Reject Your Boss’ Sexual Advances Without Getting Fired

These days, unsolicited sexual advances in corporate environments are commonplace. In fact, it has been with us from time immemorial but seemingly amplified by the internet generation that’s not conservative about their sexual preferences and desires.

Sadly, women are largely the the victims of workplace sexual harassment. According to a research, one in two women has suffered sexual harassment in the workplace in Africa and only 30% of these cases are reported.

Although sexual advances can be initiated by a junior employee to a junior employee, this article focuses on the employer/senior staff and junior staff dynamics.

It’s frustrating that superiors think they can act inappropriately without facing any consequences, and honestly, chances are they’d get away with it. And they know it.

Many victims are too scared to speak up because of the fear of losing their jobs, and unfortunately, the government, especially in Nigeria or Africa, often take sexual harassments issues with a pinch of salt.

According to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), nearly 85% of women and 15% of men report experiencing some form of sexual harassment at work.

A National Women’s Law Center study found that 75% of employees who spoke out against workplace mistreatment faced some form of retaliation. 

These numbers highlight the pervasive and persistent nature of the problem.

Real-life stories of sex advances

Personal stories bring these statistics to life. Here are a few cases of unwanted sexual advances shared by individuals during a survey conducted by Business Elite Africa:

Amaka’s Story: I had to leave my former job because of the constant sexual harassment from my boss. He kept asking me to sleep with him and would look at me and lick his lips when others weren’t looking.

Olivia: My boss made a pass at me and told me it would take him 30 minutes to convince me to sleep with him.

Stephanie: I quit my job because my boss couldn’t keep his hands to himself, it started out with ‘Ahh you look good today can I get a hug?’ I’m like NO!…and then one day, he asked to buy my underwear cause he wanted to sniff it.

These stories reflect a broader issue. The same survey found that 60% of respondents reported experiencing unwanted sexual advances from their superiors, but only 10% felt safe reporting these incidents to HR.

What is Sexual Harassment?

Before going further, it’s important to define sexual harassment. According to Order 14(1) of the National Industrial Court of Nigeria Civil Procedure Rules 2017, sexual harassment in the workplace is defined as follows:

Physical Conduct of a Sexual Nature:

• Unwanted Physical Contact: This includes everything from touching to sexual assault and rape.
• Strip Search: Conducted by or in the presence of the opposite sex.
• Gestures: Any gesture that constitutes sexual harassment.

Verbal Form of Sexual Harassment:

• Unwelcome Innuendoes, Suggestions, and Hints: Any verbal advances that are sexual in nature.
• Sexual Advances and Comments: Comments with sexual overtones, sex-related jokes or insults, or unwelcome graphic comments about a person’s body.
• Inquiries About a Person’s Sex Life: Unwelcome and inappropriate questions about someone’s sexual activities.
• Unwelcome Whistling: Directed at a person or group of persons.
• Documents or Materials: Any document, material, or exhibit that supports the claim of harassment.

Non-Verbal Form of Sexual Harassment:

• Unwelcome Gestures: Non-verbal cues that are sexual in nature.
• Indecent Exposures: Exposing parts of the body inappropriately.
• Sexually Explicit Pictures and Objects: Displaying such items in the workplace.

Understanding these definitions is crucial in recognizing and addressing sexual harassment in the workplace effectively.

5 Tactics to Reject Unwanted Sex From Your Boss

1. Be Direct and Firm

Clearly state that the behaviour is unacceptable and that it needs to stop immediately. Studies show that assertiveness can reduce the likelihood of repeat offenses. A firm, clear response sets boundaries and communicates seriousness.

2. Document Everything

 Keep a record of all incidents, including dates, times, and details of what happened. According to the EEOC, 75% of harassment cases are more likely to succeed when there is documented evidence.

3. Seek Support

Talk to a trusted coworker, friend, or family member about what you’re experiencing. Their support can be invaluable. Social support has been shown to reduce stress and improve outcomes for harassment victims, providing emotional and practical assistance.

4. Report the Behaviour

If your company has a human resources department or a formal process for reporting harassment, use it. If not, consider using social media platforms, especially Twitter, to share your experience. Many people report unwanted sexual advances from their boss and share their stories on social media to raise awareness and seek support.

5. Know Your Rights

Familiarise yourself with your rights regarding workplace harassment. There are laws in place to protect you, and knowing them can empower you to take the necessary steps. Awareness of legal protections, such as Title VII of the Civil Rights Act, can empower victims to take action and seek justice.

You do not have to face this alone. There are resources and people ready to help you through this difficult time. 

Taking steps to assert your boundaries, document incidents, seek support, and report the behaviour can make a significant difference in your situation.